Genuine Curiosity

Author Dwayne Melancon is always on the lookout for new things to learn. An ecclectic collection of postings on personal productivity, travel, good books, gadgets, leadership & management, and many other things.

 

Tame the wild chaos

I was just reading an article from Dave Crenshaw's latest newsletter about organizing your clutter around the office. It's about creating (and labeling) "homes" for all your stuff and committing yourself to stick to only putting things in their homes.

This is a tough one for me, and I know it. I have my sprints of success (generally every time I do an overhaul of my GTD habits) but I find that I eventually go back to my disorderly tendencies.

How about you? Have you found a way to conquer this yo-yo organizing syndrome? And "just do it" (apparently) is not enough for me to overcome my chaos inertia.

Anyway - check out Dave's article - it is a good reminder that "a place for everything, and everything in its place" can make your life a lot easier.

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Your vision can change the world

I just watched the movie "Bobby," a movie about the assasination of Robert F. Kennedy (RFK) and it's put me in a philosophical mood. The movie was pretty good, but what struck me was the intermingling of actual speeches by RFK. He was truly an idealist and a visionary. The brought hope and a vision of a better future to the people he touched, and is famous for the quote:

"There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"

This kind of thinking is what success is made of. By envisioning wild success for ourselves and others, we set in motion a stream of events that changes outcomes. By acting on our beliefs and visions, their power increases.

This is why so many "self help" books start with coming up with an aspiration, vision, or mission, and why so many of us are encouraged to repeat positive affirmations to support our visions.

RFK was a visionary when it came to civil rights, and RFK said a lot about this subject. If your vision is big enough and positive enough (and you share it with enough people), it will live on just as RFK's vision did.

Look for the good

Coincidentally, I re-watched my favorite movie ever with my family Friday night: Pollyanna. It's about the positive impact of one person on an entire town, and it is a wonderful movie.

A great quote from the movie is something from Polyanna's locket:

"When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will."

I've heard it put another way by a friend of mine who always says, "Inspect what you expect - you might be getting exactly what you're looking for."

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See yourself driving the car

A long time ago, I talked with a car salesman friend of mine and he told me his goal when a new prospect walked onto the lot was to get them to "see themselves driving the car." He explained that once they started to imagine what it would be like to own the car, show it off to friends, sit in it driving to work, etc. his job got a whole lot easier.

Win once to win again

From the "Influence" book I reviewed the other day, I now know this is a scientifically known effect in which people make a mental shift or "declaration" to belong in a certain category then they begin to make choices that reinforce their membership in that category. I read about this effect about a week or so ago and have noticed that others have intuitively incorporated this into their thinking:

  • My son's football coach told the team and parents that, though they are a new team, after the boys win one game they will begin to identify themselves as "Winners" and begin to win more often.
    • They won their first game on Friday night (33-12, against a team that was reputed to be better than them) so we'll see how this flavors their confidence in next week's game.
  • In a project at work, the project leader said it was important to set a few difficult but definitely achievable goals so the team could experience a win and thereby increase their probability of winning again.
  • My wife deliberately gave my daughter a simple challenge in cleaning her room so she could feel the satisfaction of achieving the objective and want to do it again.

Whether they realized it or not, all of these people have tapped into a powerful human response.

How can you tap into the power?

So, the question is: How can you tap into this for your own benefit?

A few ways come to mind:

  • Declare your future reality as though it were true today ("See yourself driving the car")
    • Begin "pretending" that you are the way you want to be, and you'll increase the number of choices you make that will bring your into alignment with that future reality. For example, if you begin imagining yourself as an efficient and productive person, you'll tend to behave more efficiently and productively.
    • If you've heard about how athletes play "mental golf" or otherwise imagine themselves doing things well, this is what's going on.
  • Talk about yourself in ways that reflect this future reality ("Declare yourself")
    • Positive affirmations are often employed by self help programs, and it's no accident - they are effective. Positive affirmations trigger the principle of "consistency" within us - we want to act consistently with the way we declare ourselves to be.
    • If we consistently declare ourselves as healthy, we'll begin to support these statements with our actions so we don't seem flaky to others.
  • Set achievable, yet meaningful goals. ("Achieve the win that brings you back for more.")
    • Once you feel what it's like to win, you'll crave the rush again - and that, in itself, will help you win again. Set milestones along your path (with some public rewards, ideally) to help you feel what it's like to succeed - you'll begin to feel like a winner, and that's a good thing.
  • State your goals specifically and publicly. ("Put your reputation at stake")
    • Again, you've probably encountered programs that get you to publicly proclaim your goals. The pressure of responsibility from public goals will help you stay motivated and can often get you to perform the extra actions that are the difference between success and failure.

These are just a few ideas to help you spark your own success. If you haven't read "Influence" yet, I recommend you do - it's awesome and very applicable to your influence on yourself and others.

Remember, success often starts with a vision, a declaration, and decisions to support what you say you're all about.


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Jedi Mind Tricks: Influence

I've just finished my first (and certainly not my last) reading of Robert Cialdini's book, "Influence: Science and Practice (Fifth Edition)." I must say: I'm impressed by this book.

Influence is an interesting combination of scientific research, practical advice, and loads of case studies illustrating how humans are "hard wired" to respond to certain situations. The book provides guidance on how to use this psychological "wiring" to influence others' decisions.

Use these powers for good

First, this book is - literally - a textbook. Cialdini presents focused chapters, followed by thought-provoking review questions and exercises that really drive the points home. Many of the examples in this book analyze well-known ploys from consumer sales, such as sneaky car sales tricks, "sweet deals" that make you feel like you've been taken after you've agreed to them, and manipulative questioning techniques.

While many of these techniques can be used for unscrupulous reasons, there are two great reasons to study them:

  1. They can be used for good purposes - not just bad ones.
  2. Once you recognize them for what they are, you can defend yourself against them. And Cialdini even tells you how to fight back when you recognize that you're being swindled by one of these manipulative tricks.

Please promise me you will not order this book if you have any plans to use these techniques for evil purposes.

Automatic responses

One of the things that makes the "tricks" studied in Influence work is a conditioned response that Cialdini describes as the "Click-Whirr Phenomenon," in which certain stimulus can trigger conditioned, "automatic" responses. Knowledge of these Click-Whirr connections is (whether they realize it or not) how most persuasive people get us to do what they want.

Some of the case studies are amusing, like this one illustrating "Reciprocation," in which a university professor sent a bunch of Christmas cards to a sample of perfect strangers:

"Although he expected some reaction, the response he received was amazing--holiday cards addressed to him came pouring back to him from people whom he had never met nor heard of him. The great majority of those who returned cards never inquired into the identity of the unknown professor. They received his holiday card, click, and whirr, they automatically sent cards in return."

Cialdini then disects the reasons Reciprocation works on us and analyzes how it can be used to get people to agree to do things for you.

Tons of mojo under the microscope

There is so much to learn from this book, in every chapter. Some things you'll learn about include:

  • How the Chinese were able to influence POW's to get them to do things helpful to their Communist agenda
  • How offers can be structured to make people think they are getting a special deal
  • Why door-to-door solicitors always ask you for the names of others (your neighbors, relatives, etc.)
  • How small commitments are used to condition people to accept larger proposals later
  • The frightening power of "social proof" to get large groups of people to do what you want them to do

...and much more.

Use the Force

There are some awesome techniques here that can increase the effectiveness of sales, marketing, team building, and other business disciplines when applied responsibly. If you're involved in influencing others and want to get better at it, Influence is a perfect book for you.

By the way - I wasn't joking when I requested that you only use these powers for good - don't be tempted by the dark side.

Quick side note: as I've mentioned in the past, one indicator of how much I like a book is how many times I've bought it for other people. Consider this: I've had this book about about 10 days and I've already bought copies for 5 people. Great stuff.

Picture credit: Tom Carden


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Do you deserve your own aisle?

When you walk into a typical supermarket, you'll notice signs at the end of each aisle that give you an idea what's on the aisle. Obviously, it's not practical to include everything the aisle contains on these signs, so they narrow it down to the most popular or in-demand items.

In other words, these signs represent the most sought after categories of items in the supermarket. These tend to be the "staples of life" that are frequently listed on most people's grocery shopping lists. In fact, many of these items (such as bread, milk, eggs and, in my case, coffee) are important enough that you may go to the supermarket solely to get one of these important items.

Take inventory

With that in mind, think about your skills - the "things you're known for." How many of your best skills are important enough that people regularly seek you out to leverage those abilities?

If one of the skills you're good at is a "staple skill" you are lucky because you will probably be sought out frequently. For example, people may seek you out for your planning & organizing skills. You may even become the "go to" person for that skill in your organization - in essence, you'll have a place on the sign at the beginning of the aisle.

But if your best skills are very specialized, you may not show up on people's shopping lists very often - or they may not know you "sell" that particular skill. Consequently, they will walk past your aisle in the skills supermarket without ever realizing you were there.

Drive demand

To continue the supermarket analogy, there are a lots of ways to drive the kind of awareness that will result in people seeking you out. Here are some examples, along with some things to think about in each area:

  • Advertising / Promotion - How can you let people know (inside your organization or beyond) what you have to offer?
    • You can get the word out through blogging, advertising, contributed articles, and things like that.
    • Try to think about who would be a receptive "customer" audience for your skills and strategize about the best way to reach that audience.
    • Remember that the key to successful advertising is consistent impressions over time- be clear, concise, and persistent.
  • Word of mouth (satisfied customers)
    • This is perhaps the most powerful way to drive brand awareness. People look to others' experiences and recommendations when making decisions and trying to solve a problem. Your goal is to get people to recommend you when someone they know is looking for something you're good at.
    • The problem is that you can't get word of mouth until people have experienced the value you provide - which brings us to...
  • Free samples
    • If you're just getting started in promoting your personal brand, you might consider offering your services to others for no cost - in exchange for a testimonial, recommendation, or referral. If you create a few enthusiastic, satisfied customers who will provide a reference for you, all the rest of your brand building will get easier.

OK, so I might be stretching the metaphor just a bit with this post, but my point is this:

You may have tons of value to offer to others, but if people don't know about your abilities or don't know where to find you, your contributions will be limited.

It's up to you to get the word out and drive demand for your skills. Keep at it, and you just may end up with your own sign at the end of the aisle.


Picture credit: "Tea, only barely" by Yusuke Toyoda