Genuine Curiosity

Author Dwayne Melancon is always on the lookout for new things to learn. An ecclectic collection of postings on personal productivity, travel, good books, gadgets, leadership & management, and many other things.

 

That’s a great question…

If you’ve ever read my profile on the blog, you will know that the very essence of “genuine curiosity” as a concept is that you change your interactions with the world by asking open-ended, evocative questions.

Yes/No is a no-no

The main thing to remember with the genuine curiosity concept is that the questions should not be answerable with a yes/no response (unlike my daughter’s unusual questionnaire, at right). 

The idea is to get people to talk and see where the conversation goes.

I’ve heard some great questions since I’ve started listening for them.  Back in 2005, I wrote about a few general purpose “discovery questions,” best used on others – especially people you don’t know very well.

Going deeper

I have started a list of the really great questions I hear, and my favorites are those that cause really deep thinking.  These can be used on others as coaching exercises or, in many cases, on yourself to get to a deeper level of introspection.

One guy that has Great questions is Michael Bungay Stanier from Box of Crayons.  I’ve heard a number of his questions from interviews he’s done with David Allen (the “GTD Guy”) and have enjoyed them immensely.

I finally got around to watching an awesome, 5 minute film that Michael has created called “The 5.75 Questions You’ve Been Avoiding.”  This is an entertaining way to get to some really insightful questions – ones that can really help you improve yourself if you’re willing to put in the time to think about them.

After watching the video, if you like how he thinks be sure & check out the “Great Work Blog.” 

Trust and the test of relationships

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending a talk by Stephen M. R. Covey, author of “The Speed of Trust.”  Covey is an excellent speaker, because he has a way of crystallizing his points with stories and personalized exercises.

An Exercise in Trust

test_tubeOne such exercise was the following.  I encourage you to actually go through it right now – it won’t take long, and I think it will be enlightening.

Part 1: High Trust

Identify a person you work with whom you feel you have a “high trust relationship.”  Got them in mind?  Now, ask yourself each of the following question and take about 10-15 seconds to write down the first responses that come to mind for each question:

  1. What is it like to work with this person?
  2. What is it like to communicate with this person?
  3. How fast can you get things done?
  4. What are the results when you work together?

Part 2: Low Trust

Identify a person you work with whom you feel you have a “low trust relationship.”  Got them in mind?  Once again, ask yourself each of the following question and take about 10-15 seconds to write down the first responses that come to mind for each question:

  1. What is it like to work with this person?
  2. What is it like to communicate with this person?
  3. How fast can you get things done?
  4. What are the results when you work together?

Comparing the Results

If you’re like me, the results you see will mirror Covey’s description of the characteristics of each type of relationship:

High Trust: Open, energetic, and authentic.  Things get done quickly when working together, usually with great results.

Low Trust:  Guarded, calculating, with information hiding and “CYA” behaviors.  Working together is an energy-draining experience, and the results usually aren’t very impressive.

The Litmus Test

Covey’s point in all of this was how much trust impacts the speed and cost of getting things done, and how much more efficient & effective high trust relationships are.

But what really drove this home for me was the “litmus test” Covey offered, by which you can quickly tell the difference between high- and low-trust relationships:

  • “In a high-trust relationship, even if you say the wrong thing, the other person will still ‘get’ your intent or motive.”
  • “In a low-trust relationship, you can be very precise & measured and the other person will still misinterpret you.”

Powerful stuff, that.  I think I may go back and read his book again.

Always something there to remind me...

This week, I've been an adult leader at a Boy Scout summer camp and it has been a great experience. Not only has it been relaxing, it has been a refreshing week of interactions with others - adults and young men, alike.


One of the things I noticed was how well the camp we attended has created "embedded" reminders of the core values of Scouting throughout the camp. These core values are represented in the Scout Law:

A Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

The goal of these points is to remind Scouts of the character attributes they should aspire to exemplify in life. At the camp this week, there were signs reminding everyone of these values and many of them were just-in-time triggers, like the "Clean" sign above (placed just outside the dining hall), and the "Thrifty" sign at the front of the Trading Post.

Of course, the challenge is always to make a good, values-aligned choice even when there aren't reminders right in front of you. With this in mind, I encourage you to think about the values that define your character from time to time.

Are there any areas around your guiding principles where you can improve? If so, what can you do to become more aligned with your desired values? Are there any ways you can embed reminders in your life to better anchor you to where you'd like to be?

-- Post From My iPhone


Oops!

oops_cover In spite of the title, reading this book was not a mistake:  “OOPS! 13 Management Practices That Waste Time & Money (and what to do instead),” by Aubrey C. Daniels is well worth your time.  With “Oops!” Daniels takes us through a well-articulated analysis of a bunch of management practices that are commonplace in today’s corporate world, including:

  • Performance Appraisals
  • “Stretch Goals”
  • Employee of the Month programs
  • Hourly vs. Salaried pay schemes (including a discussion of bonuses and annual raises)
  • Downsizing
  • And 8 more management practices

In each of the 13 chapters devoted to the flawed management practices, Daniels provides examples of how the practices are used, a discussion of what outcomes they are supposed to achieve, and a view on what undesirable effects they actually create in the organization.

A lot of the flaws Daniels points out may seem like common sense, but organizations often do something that seems counterproductive.  For example, I’m familiar with a lot of organizations that have a “forced ranking” process in which they try to lop off the bottom x% of performers (10%, 25%, 1/3, or some such target).  So, what do you do as a hiring manager?  Do you set out to hire some bad apples so you have someone to cut?  Or do you hire the best team you can, only to get rid of one of your strong performers just because they aren’t the “most A” player?  This can be especially challenging in smaller teams.

What should you do instead?

The great thing about this book it goes beyond analyzing the flaws in these practices, and suggests better ways to manage.  For example, he has some great suggestions for better ways to motivate people than the “forced ranking” approach. 

One of my favorite chapters, “Promoting People Nobody Likes,” includes an illuminating analysis of the differences in results achieved by “tough managers” like Bobby Knight, and “softer” managers like John Wooden.  Both of these guys are legendary basketball coaches – one (Knight) is legendary for being loud, abusive, and intimidating; while the other (Wooden) is legendary for being a calm, supportive, and inspiring coach.

In many organizations, the “tough managers” are promoted while the “softer” managers may be passed over because they are not aggressive enough to get ‘real’ results.  However, we all know tough managers who’ve left a trail of bodies and resignations in their wake – and we know that hiring and training new employees is costly and disruptive to the organization, not to mention the impact on morale.  So how much more effective can you be if your organization considers not just the results a manager achieves, but how they get those results?

Daniels provides some sage advice on this topic and all the others in this book.  By the way - if you’re downsizing, you should definitely check out Daniels’ ideas on how to deal with that (it’s Practice #12).

Common threads

There are common threads running through these topics:

  • Providing timely feedback (positive and negative)
  • Creating clarity around expectations, roles, and behaviors
  • Thinking about whether your “system” really promotes the outcomes you’re seeking
  • Creating a culture that makes it easy to do the right things, and hard to do the wrong things

In my opinion, if you follow Daniels’ advice, you’re on your way to higher organizational performance.  I also love the “Performance Matrix” he provides in the appendix as a tool to help focus on performance (and replace the traditional approach to performance appraisals).

In summary, I recommend this to anyone who wants to up their game on management, or who has influence on management practices in organizations of any size.  [I’ve even caught myself changing how I deliver praise and criticism to my kids since I’ve read this book.]

Bravo to Daniels for “Oops!” – and don’t make the mistake of not reading this one.

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Hip & Sage – it’s a journey, not a destination

I just finished reading an awesome book: “Hip & Sage: Staying Smart, Cool, and Competitive in the Workplace,” by Lisa Haneberg.  As you may know from my prior posts (linked at the end of this review), I’m a huge fan of Lisa’s books and her Management Craft blog (which is 5 years old this month, by the way)."...if you need unlimited minutes on your cell phone more than you need unlimited texting, this book is for you."

This book is aimed at Baby Boomers & others from generations with more mileage on the tires than Gen-Xers and Millenials.  You can think of Hip & Sage as part “New Technologies 101” and part “how to find tech savvy tour guides,” and it’s designed to help you become conversant, proficient, and comfortable with social media and other new media technologies. 

But I think this book could be relevant to lots of folks.  Regardless of your age, if you feel like a poser talking with people about Twitter, Facebook, RSS, LinkedIn – or even blogs – then this book can help you.  In short, if you need unlimited minutes on your cell phone more than you need unlimited texting, this book is for you.

What does it mean to be Hip?

According to Lisa, Hipness is is about engagement an energy:

“Our ability to communicate, connect, and collaborate with younger generations.  In business, our hipness determines how effectively we work with, inspire, and influence younger workers.  Hip entrepreneurs are able to enroll, engage, and exicte younger customers and business partners.”

If you work with younger people, being Hip can be a game changer (and becoming Hip can be fun).  Lisa provides a set of techniques and philosophies to help you enlist the help of younger mentors in a way that will tap into their knowledge and excitement, and (I believe) make them want to help you get up to speed.

One of the fastest paths to Hipness is to practice genuine curiosity about the things hip people care about, and ask someone who’s already hip to feed your thirst for learning.

If you can find a social media-savvy “workout buddy” that will help, too (@MattHixson is one of mine, for example)

What does it mean to be Sage?

Hip_Sage_Cover In contrast, Sageness is about sharing hard-won lessons:

“Our natural strengths and characteristics, goals and priorities, and experiences – manifested as skills, drive, judgment, and knowledge – that have been honed, carved, seasoned, and polished through the years.  Our sageness is unique; it may or may not be visible to others or in use contributing to the world.”

Lisa’s section on “Cultivating Our Sageness” is all about tapping into your experiences, but not just so you can be the guru on the mountain that others seek out.  Her guidance is to actively inject your sageness into the business so that the business can benefit from your experience.

Her advice on goal setting and becoming more self-aware can dramatically improve your effectiveness – you should check it out, for sure.

Putting it all together

The magic all happens in the third section of the book, where Lisa discusses how to become both Hip and Sage, including a discussion of how to challenge your beliefs and leverage new knowledge & skills to achieve non-linear success.

The third section also includes some worksheets to help you achieve greater clarity and document your thinking in a useful way.

The bottom line

This book is so rich with useful information I can’t begin to do it justice in this short review, but the bottom line is this:  pick up a copy of Hip & Sage.  On their own, the two chapters on “Job Seeking and Hiring for the Hip & Sage,” and “A Primer on the Generations” are worth the price of the book, particularly if you’re on the wrong side of this economy.

Lisa provides other resources, as well, including the awesome Hip & Sage blog and a voluminous list of resources at the end of the book.

Related items:

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