- When you hear a complaint turn it around by saying something like, “I understand. How can we turn that complaint into a request?”
This kind of question accomplishes a couple of things. It acknowledges the issue and – more importantly – it shifts the conversation into “solution mode” and helps engage the complainer in thinking about how things could be better.
We discussed the technique during a managers’ meeting and I must admit I thought this was a “looks good on paper” kind of concept, and didn’t think it would really work. Nonetheless, I decided to try it out to see what happened.
That night at dinner, I had the perfect opportunity to give it a try with one of my daughters:
| Daughter: | “Dad, you gave me an orange today in my lunch and that made me mad. It was messy and I got orange gunk under my fingernails.” |
| Me: | “I understand. Now – how can we turn that complaint into a request?” |
| Daughter: | (without missing a beat) “When you make my lunch, can you either cut up the oranges or give me another kind of fruit, like an apple? And please put a napkin in the lunch bag.” |
| Me: | “OK, I’ll do that. Thank you for letting me know.” |
I was fascinated by how well it worked, and how easy it was. I didn’t tell my daughter I was “trying some new Jedi mind trick” or anything like that – I just tried the technique. Since then, I’ve tried it a number of times at home and at work, and it generally gets good results.
The other thing this has done for me: When I catch myself complaining about something, I try to think of a way to turn my complaint into a request.
If you try this out, let me know if it works for you.